MANCHESTER PUT THE HEAT ON IN HEATON

We convened at Heaton Moor's ground for a 3 way friendly fixture against Stockport and Heaton Moor. The balmy weather of earlier in the week had vanished to be replaced by rain and cold!! Even Jenny had trousers on, it was that cold and Simon's shorts were longer than normal. The change in weather seems to have brought its' fair share of bugs with it as Mr Cheetham was holding fort for a poorly Mrs Cheetham and Mark turned up later in his designer jeans after emptying the contents of his stomch into Bramhall's sewerage system most of the night - apparently no alcohol or curry involved! Some of the boys were
[/list]also a bit below par and the bitterly cold weather didn't help. Consequently, yours truly spent much time trying to warm hands up in the clubhouse and walking cold boys round to keep warm and managed to see even less than normal of our boy's endeavours. Statto was stood resolutely pitchside, clipboard in hand and pencil poised - frozen apendages and impending frostbite doesn't stop Statto's detailed recording of the valiant adventures of Manchester Under 11's on the rugby pitch!

Over to you, Statto!

Thanks Steph. I reluctantly put down the article on Palaeoproterozoic digitate columnar stromatolites, and, rubbing the sleep from my eyes with calloused, ink-stained fingers I take a moment to try and remember how long I had been in this room. An hour? A day? A week? No matter, time is an irrelevance to a man of stats and the world of Cyanobacteria can wait for another day. I reach for my wife's "Men of Samoan Rugby" Calendar. There beneath the picture of Ezra " Mr March" Taylor now heavily scribbled over with the wild ranting of Mrs Statto I find the date.Today, apparently, is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready. Sighing deeply I manage to coax my aching body into an upright repose and begin to remember...

Across the frozen wastes I could hear harsh clicks and guttural noises. To my amateur anthropologists' ear it sounded like a dialect spoken by the San Bushmen, the oldest inhabitants of Southern Africa. Not believing my luck I excitedly follow the sounds, stumbling, arms outstretched, half blind from the frigid cold wind to the source.

What I found sadly will never be published in The Journal of Cultural Anthropology. My ears had been deceived by Manchester's chattering classes teeth chattering. Even after years of brawling at Blue Cross Sales, fracas over frappes and laying someone out cold over a spilt latte, only Manchester's Rugby Mums Ultras amongst all the rugby mum tribes of Cheshire can truly say they have most of their own teeth left or at least can lay their hands on a spare pair should the dress code at The Beluga Bar require it.

Ignoring the baying hordes I'm soon lost in a world of sublime rugby.

First up, the little matter of a derby against Stockport. At the moment Manchester's rugby is reaching giddy heights and the boys certainly carried on where they'd left off the week before. Once again they made a flying start. Straight from their own kick off they were in Stockport's faces and from a Stockport lineout halfway in their own half Manchester won the ball and managed to scramble the ball over the try line to score. Manchester fight for every inch of grass, every second of the match, playing with a ferocious intensity and never giving in which is fabulous to watch and this spirit was behind the second try. Great pressure by the pack at a Stockport scrum saw them win the ball and quickly recycle it wide for the scorer to race over the line. Try three was the result of another hard fought battle. Manchester were passing their way out of defence when the move got stalled in the centre of the pitch by some great determined Stockport defending. The ball though came free to a Manchester player who ran down the touchline and managed to make a final pass to a support player to scramble the ball over from five yards out. The fourth try came from another fine bit of work from the pack winning the ball once again at a Stockport scrum. The pass found an onrushing Manchester player who stretched his legs and broke down the touchline to the delight of Manchester's travelling supporters to run in the try. Manchester's fifth and final try of this game came from another wonderful solo sprint from a penalty with the player seeing a gap in the Stockport defence and going for it!

Stats for this match showed that Manchester were awarded a solitary scrum, which they won and they also won all of Stockport's six scrums. They also managed to win Stockport's three lineouts though didn't have any themselves, and both teams were awarded a penalty.

Final score: Manchester 5 Stockport 0

Next up were the hosts Heaton Moor. Manchester again went hell for leather from the off, tearing into the Heaton Moor team looking for the ball. They're learning (finally!) that to win they must KEEP THE BALL and play at a high tempo ALL THE TIME. The application of this brought about the first try of the game. Great, solid pressure by Manchester's players finally saw the ball get to the try scorer, who ran low to the ground (what a superb textbook body position) over the line to score. The next try began in typical fashion with fine support play from the scrum seeing the ball passed wide a couple of times before reaching an onrushing support player to run over the try line. Manchester have always been a tough tackling team who are brave in the ruck and this was evident in the build up to try three where a strong ruck and maul saw the ball fed out towards the touchline for a Manchester player to score. The fourth try started with Manchester winning the ball at a Heaton Moor lineout and eventually scrambling the ball over the line. The last try saw a piece of wonderful, unselfish play as a Manchester player sprinting for the line spotted a support player racing down the touchline and timed his pass out to the wing to perfection. He might well have scored himself but his excellent attitude was fabulous to see and was very warmly applauded.

Stats for this match showed that Manchester were awarded a solitary lineout, which they won and they also won Heaton Moors' one. There were no contested scrums as Heaton Moor were missing several of their pack and there were also no penalties. This lack of stats meant I could keep my hands in my pockets for whole minutes at a time.

Final score: Manchester 5 Heaton Moor 0

The final match of the morning was a second, shorter, game against Stockport. Again the boys raced in hungry to make that first tackle, hungry to get the ball and test the Stockport defence. The first try came from a series of passes fed across the pitch with the ball gathered cleanly by the try scorer who sped over the line. Try two was a solo effort by the Manchester scorer who ran diagonally across the pitch, finding a gap in the Stockport defence to get over the try line. The last try was the result of some superb pressure exerted by the Manchester pack at a Stockport scrum pushing the opponents back before feeding a beautifully weighted ball out to the try scorer to place the ball over the line.

Stats for this match showed that Manchester were awarded a solitary lineout, which they won and although they weren't given a scrum they won all of Stockport's three. Stockport were awarded the only penalty.

Final score: Manchester 3 Stockport 0

What can I say. Bitterly cold morning, t'was braw, bricht and all that, but the whole team put in a tremendous performance once again. There is a great sense of self belief running through the side at the moment and also a very real team bond that has been forged over the past few seasons but is now becoming something very special. It is super to watch but must be extraordinary to play in and be a part of.