Liverpool Collegiate 10 - Manchester 36

Well after a gap of six weeks, four tins of quality street, 17 bottles of red wine, three turkey dinners and a complete re-run of every episode of Fools and Horses it was good to see PC Cannabis back in his rugby boots - oh and quite good to see the lads pull on the shirts and boots and see if they could pick up where they left off against Sedgley Park - which was November 29th, feels like a long time ago.

The last time we played Collegiate was in the semi-final of the Land Rover competition at Preston Arse-gropers when, after a 0-0 game we played extra time which remained scoreless and we ended up going out to the toss of a coin. Following a late call from their coaching team we got the fixture on on Saturday and travelled to Aigburth expecting a tough game against a team who we didn’t beat as Minis, they were regularly finalists in our tournament and most recently they had finished runners up in last season’s Under 12 Lancs Cup competition and were therefore made second seeds for this season. In the end we didn’t need to ask McRef for his lucky ten pence piece as we ran out winners against a tough and combative Collegiate side - it was a very good game of rugby from both teams.

We were without a couple of regulars as the Karate Kid has a neck injury sustained whilst free diving off a cliff whilst wearing his snowboard - he is expected back soon and Bobby informed us that Usain was on Jamaican Olympics sprint team warm weather training in Burnage. Being unbeaten in 2010 (thank you to Mc Statto for that) we welcomed back Hanno after he has been completely re-built and is now made entirely from Titanium and sticky backed plastic and there was also a first appearance for some questionable pink footwear to the front row.

After a relatively straight forward drive to Aigburth the game kicked off with some supporters missing, Dodgy Hat, The Wizard and Wolfy Snr had gone in search of bacon sandwiches and coffee and didn’t reappear until we were already a score up; Golden Boy himself showing that he hadn’t forgotten how to score tries in the festive and weather inspired break. Indeed Wolfy Snr made it back only to carry Jnr back to the car after an ankle injury which hopefully is not too serious - we wish him a speedy recovery, after all he does everything else pretty damn quickly. The enforced change saw Finger emerge from the bench to take his place and as ever he didn’t let anyone down.

This was a game, keenly fought up front, with a big Collegiate pack scrummaging well and not allowing any clean ball at the breakdown; however when we did secure possession we were able to use the ball well which resulted in a number of first half scores including a great quarter back sneak from the ruck by One Boot who thankfully this week had remembered to bring both!

The highlights of the first half include sharing a bacon sandwich with Jim who complained that he has broken ribs as a result of Scribblers challenge at five a side last week, he also has a bad knee from jogging in the snow, a bad back from years on a bike and a bad head after his wine allergy which makes a guest appearance each and every Saturday night - other than that he is a perfect physical specimen, I am sure you will agree! The Captain, who picked up where he left off against Sedgley was called to the referee to account for the behaviour of his team on a number of occasions - most notably to ask the pack to refrain from uttering such profanities in the scrum. On further investigation it appears that Pink boots had been requesting his colleagues in the second and back row to politely remove the ball from the scrummage area instead of kicking it back into the front row - or at least that was what the translation says!

Going in at the break 26-0 up was real testament to the performance of all the players, the forwards had competed well and Bambi and JPR took a well earned rest for the second half. It was probably Bambi’s best game in the pink and grey (reference to the colour not-fastness of the shirts) of Manchester and JPR once again showed that he really has made the transition from the Jessicas. They were replaced by McHooker and Sutty. However the difference between the teams was probably the advantages we created in the backs. Mazzlaar continuously wresting the ball from the fracas and great hands from One Boot, Golden Boy and the Prof who I thought was outstanding today, bouncing off would-be tacklers like Scott Gibbs and definitely in first place on the tackle count. Hanno was also showing some trade mark strong runs on his return as well as having hand bags with his opposite number a couple of times!

We made some changes in the backs in the second half with Young Cannabis showing spritely form at scrum half, Finger promoted further up the field to centre and Mazzlaar filling in at full back. Golden Boy moved to 10 and demonstrated the kicking prowess of his new Xmas boots as we looked to take advantage of the breeze at our backs; however Collegiate had other ideas and made the second half very uncomfortable and if anything they redoubled their efforts in the forwards, which resulted in a couple of their big pack going over for tries.

The players responded well and Anthony continued his outstanding performance in the line out where he secured lots of possession today, even managing to jump in the air like a tin of salmon in his size 13 boots, if his feet get any bigger he’ll need planning permission for them! There was also more red mist for The Sheap who rampaged around the pitch like it was the rutting season at times and on one occassion was reminded by the ref that he must use his arms in the tackle - he did that the next tackle and nearly took the poor lads head off - Steady on Sheapy (note to self, put some camomile tea in the water to calm him down). The second half also featured a great right wing barn storming run by Discount from our 22 to the other only to be scragged by the Collegiate 7, who having put him in touch then asked for his autograph having recognised him from Oceans 12.

It was definitely a test for fitness levels and the back row in particular had plenty of work to do, Semple and Kylie particularly deserve a big pat on the back for getting round the park all afternoon and making lots of tackles against some big lads, Kylie even commenting on the way back to the changing rooms that he was absolutely shattered and that it had been the hardest game of rugby he had played in. All of the players stood up well to the pressure and GB managed to score two further tries for us to run out 36-10 winners.

A huge thanks to our hosts for getting the game on (everyone including the parents were delighted to see the boys back playing rugby) and for great food and hospitality after the game. I expect Collegiate will be tough competitors every time we play them over the next few years.