Mancs in Lancs

Lancashire cup games against Heaton Moor and Bury. Early start to get to Bury for 9.30 but as we edge towards spring and the sun is now up at this time, managed to crawl out of bed.

Jen was on good form and desperate for some early sausage but had to concentrate on driving. Bit early for me personally. Mind you, some may say I have lost my appetite for them altogether. Something I spotted recently regarding culinary issues was that a man who said his religion was “pastafarianism” was not allowed to wear a colander as religious headgear when having his licence photo taken!

Needed the old headgear today as it were a bit nippy. Jen had some very special gloves on borrowed from Suzanne. They were quite scary given that she is responsible for child safeguarding at the club. Enough to scare off anyone who may cross the safeguarding line. I therefore tried very hard to be quiet today!

Anyhow, on to the rugby. First up the boys were on against Heaton Moor who they played last week. I missed that one as we were stomping round the Lakes. This was a feisty game. Manchester again showed some great passages of play. I actually managed to see things like some dummies, great timed passes, some strong runs and tackles. I think I heard the coaches say the rucking was good too. Considering there was not a lot of space the boys managed to move the ball well but the game was tiring as there was lots of contact. Statto can take over on the detail.

Hi Steph, once again you paint an evocative, thought provoking picture. As a committed vegetarian I can’t remember the last time I saw a proper sausage, the sort you can purchase at Pimlott’s rather than round the back at Ascot’s, so I’m struggling to picture one. I’ve been reliably informed that they look like a limbless Duncan Goodhew in a shiny, see-through sleeping bag, which is more than a little alarming - I don’t know whether I’d rather munch on one or stamp on it until I was sure it was dead. However, the arrival this morning on the Statto kitchen table of that pallid, glutinous semi-foodstuff called porridge signalled that life was going to continue being dreadful for the foreseeable future. Every year around this time, as the days become bitterly cold, the other half starts to heat up untold amounts of oats and milk. It’s almost as if she’s subconsciously wanting to make the start of my day as grim as possible. By way of an explanation she says that “It’s a hot breakfast, just put some banana on it, then shut up and eat it.”

So, ignoring UN advice that England had become uninhabitable and that we should, whilst waiting to be evacuated, stay inside, carry a flaming torch at all times and don’t be sentimental about eating your plumpest child, we set off for the match. On the radio a news reporter asked why the UN was not taking similar action in Yorkshire, the spokesman replied: “Tykes thrive on misery. It’s like sunlight to them.” Bury is 17 miles closer to the Arctic Circle than we are and so, as our car got closer to their ground rolling hills gave way to frozen tundra and cows gave way to woollier cows, with tusks.

MATCH ONE: HEATON MOOR
Shaking on the sidelines as the game was about to start, with my hands stuffed deep inside the pockets of my coat, I thought I heard my fingers mutter “We’re just going outside and may be some time.” Such self-sacrifice! My digits aware that their duties were compromising their arm’s chance of survival, chose certain death. Manchester kicked off, but unfortunately I can’t decipher the opening action, as my fingers, fighting off the ravages of frostbite, turned my usual obsessively neat cursive handwriting style into something resembling ancient Mayan script. So right from the off Manchester were either: pressing Heaton Moor back into their own half, or, Bird Jaguar, king of the Popol Vuh tribe, whose cheek is marked with the sports of Hunahpu (one of the hero twins), was holding the feathered double-headed sky serpent Q’uq’umatz.

Manchester early on played with passion, bite, style and accuracy. From a ruck in the Heaton Moor half the ball is recycled and passed straight away. A further pass is gathered nicely by a Manchester player who ran with the ball, before releasing a team mate down the left wing to score in the corner. Great unselfish play all round. The second try came from a won ruck. There was a wonderfully executed scissors move to savour which allowed a Manchester player to ghost through the defence and score.

The half time talk by our coaches asked for the boys to keep getting the ball down the channels and continue to try and make space on such a narrow pitch.

Half Time
Manchester 2 Heaton Moor 0

The second half started as the first had with Manchester producing some fine examples of passing play which really made the Heaton Moor defence work hard. On a number of occasions a Manchester player peeled away from a ruck or maul and spread the ball out to a waiting player but the opposition defence held up. Something different was needed to break the deadlock and the opportunity came from a lineout which Heaton Moor lost. The loose ball was smartly picked up by a scavenging Manchester player who forced his way through the defence to slam the ball down. A nicely worked penalty allowed a marauding Manchester forward to crash through and register a fourth try. Manchester were now firmly ensconced in the opposition half and won a lineout. A well rehearsed move saw a short pass to the first man in line who, catching Heaton Moor napping, charged and forced his way over the line in the corner. With the last play of the match Manchester managed to score a sixth try as a Manchester player scrambled over the line in the corner.

Thoughts on this game were that the size of the pitch made for a congested game. Manchester adjusted well and the coaches were particularly pleased with the forwards great body positions at the scrum and rucks and also with some lovely moves by the backs.

Stats for this quarter are as follows: Manchester kicked the ball once as did Heaton Moor. We had two lineouts, winning both whilst Heaton Moor had five, losing four. We had four scrums, which we won, whilst Heaton Moor were awarded five, losing all theirs. We had four penalties whilst the opposition were given three. Stats showed that in this match the ball got out to the wing five times but there were two breakdowns.
Full Time
Manchester 6 Heaton Moor 0

Next up was Manchester vs Bury.
Missed the beginning as had nipped off to the loo ( steph here by the way) but came back to see a try had been scored in the opening minutes. Manchester generally dominated the game but of note was the spirit and sportsmanship shown by Bury. Despite Manchester’s dominance they never gave up and ran back enthusiastically to each kick off. Lovely comments such as “great run mate” from sporting Bury players were heard and showed what great sportsmen the Bury team are. The ref was also noteworthy with his calm control of the game and lovely manner with the boys. Back to Statto...

MATCH TWO: BURY
Bury kicked off and Manchester catching the ball cleanly broke out of their 22 with some delightful running rugby. Try one came from a quickly taken penalty. The ball was offloaded to a waiting Manchester player who pinned his ears back and slashed his way through a gap in the home side’s defence. Try two started with a great pass from a won Manchester scrum against the head for the onrushing player to run through the centre of the Bury defence and score. From a Manchester penalty the ball was swiftly passed out to the wing for a player to sprint quickly down the touch line and score Manchester’s third of the match. Try four was the result of a Manchester penalty deep in the Bury half. The ball was fed into the centre of the pitch where a Manchester player crashed through to ground the ball. Try five was a fine solo run from a won ruck in Manchester’s half which saw one of our boys sprint half the length of the field unopposed. The last try of the half was a scrappy, but still welcome one as Manchester applied some late pressure close to the Bury try line. The ball eventually came free and was gratefully picked up and forced over.

Half Time
Manchester 6 Bury 0

Half time came and to my surprise I found my fingers weren’t dead, just electroencephalographically challenged. Massive credit to Bury who from the off never let their heads go down and really pushed Manchester hard all half. They began winning their scrums and for a few frantic minutes Manchester had their backs to the wall as Bury pressed for a try on Manchester’s own try line. Only desperate defending, holding the ball up and preventing it from being grounded stopped the home side from registering a score. If they had I believe Manchester’s traveling army of support would have cheered just as loudly as theirs! Manchester managed to kick the ball away, relieving the pressure and soon forced a line out deep in Bury’s own half. The ‘edge’ ball thrown over the two lines to a waiting player created the space needed for him to run unopposed to score in the corner. Try as they might though Manchester found it hard to add to the score with Bury defending stoutly and attacking back. Manchester did eventually manage to force the ball over the line from a won scrum against the head, but again, could not keep the momentum going, due to the determined play of Bury’s players.

Thoughts on this game were that the size of the pitch again made for a congested game. Manchester had a very good first half, pouncing on every opportunity, but in the second went off the boil as Bury really stepped their game up.

Stats for this quarter are as follows: Manchester kicked the ball once as did Bury. We had one lineout, which we won whilst Bury had six, winning three. We had six scrums, which we won, whilst Heaton Moor were awarded eight, winning four. We had five penalties whilst the opposition were given four. Stats showed that in this match the ball got out to the wing six times and there was only one breakdown.

CONCLUSION
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. Over to you Steph...

Overall a great morning. There was some good rugby played, cool heads kept and great sportsmanship. As well as great grub (pie and beans for the boys) cheap brews and being made to feel very welcome. Thanks to Bury for their generous and friendly hospitality.