Vale of Lune - Part 2 GRASSHOPPERS ALMOST CATCH MANCHESTER ON THE HOP AND OTHER JUST SO STORIES

I was distracted by scenes on BBC News showing the smoking remains of what was once the Vale end of Lune. Some idiot theoretical ecologist was explaining how our diehard Rugby Mums should be detained in the Vale of Lune for the rest of their lives. The sparsely populated surrounding countryside would give them plenty of room to swing their Louis Vuitton bags and take-outs from Gusto in Cheadle Hulme could be sent up, along with a tethered goat each day. "If we act quickly and quarantine the place we can turn it into a Starbuck's sponsored version of the Jurassic Park island." He said, his smug face gurning at the camera. My mild tourettes rose unbidden, before I could stop myself I was screaming 'You silly sausage! can't you see the dangers in introducing populations of alien species into delicately balanced ecosystems... What about the Cane Toads in Australia! Pythons in the Everglades! The English in Wales! The English in France! The English in Tuscany! The English in..." I wept at the senselessness of it all. I had studied Manchester's Rugby Mums as part of my doctoral thesis for a year or so, and was able to identify many by their particular markings or the scars from old battles and I knew that Grove Park was an important seasonal hunting ground for them between August and early Spring, indeed many of the mums migrate distances of up to several miles each summer to get there. It's a place where they can safely build up reserves of wine and bacon butties for the lean rugby-less months that lie ahead. They also use the tackle machines, because rubbing up against them removes any irritating ticks and barnacles they pick up during the school runs ( what - like husbands!! he-he Steph)

Angry at man's continual interference with nature, I reached for the notes my son Stat 2.0 had prepared about the Grasshoppers on his 'Drag Your Child to Work Day'. We've played Preston only once at the back end of last season in what I'm told was a hard fought, no quarter given contest which I think (but I might be mistaken) we just scraped - and my apologies to Preston's players and coaches if that wasn't the result. Preston are a great rugby playing side and we always knew this would be a tough match. They looked ready and up for it and our players had to remain fully focused after that victory against Lymm, ready for whatever Preston would throw at us. Early on the game was keenly contested with both teams' defences strong in the tackle. Something had to give and after a period of good pressure Preston broke through Manchester's lines to open the scoring. The boys immediately hit back as if stung piling into the Preston half seeking an equaliser, passing and running with the ball with more intent, but each promising move stopped by great defensive work from Preston. Time and time again despite repeated attempts, we couldn't make any real progress. Then, finally, just before half time, the try came. Manchester pressure close to the try line saw the ball passed to one of our players who had to use all his strength to force his way over the line. Half time 1-1 gripping stuff.

The second half was a carbon copy of the first. Both teams going for it believing they could win. When the winning try came it was for Manchester. Playing a series of wide passes from left to right across the field starting from inside their own half in a marvellously entertaining passage of play, the boys worked the ball across the pitch to a team mate on the left touchline to sprint over the line much to the relief of the watching Manchester supporters. A great bit of rugby. Summing up, both teams tried to run with the ball at every opportunity with neither side making any clearance kicks. Good to see.

We came out on the right side of the result but it was a tough game. One which took a lot out of our boys physically and mentally. Full credit to Preston and we look forward to pitting ourselves against you in the future.

Final Score: Manchester 2 Preston Grasshoppers 1

Stats for the match are few and far between - No kicks; one Manchester lineout (won), two Preston lineouts (one won, one lost); one scrum to Manchester (won), two scrums to Preston (both won by Preston) and one Penalty to Preston - there were no turn overs in this game.

Our lads trooped off the pitch battleworn and shattered having been made to really work hard for that result. This is no bad thing. In recent weeks the results have come quite easily and wake up calls like this are a good education. Manchester only have a small squad (at this tournament taking 18 boys) and the injuries were beginning to mount up at this stage so it was a patched up and bruised set of players that were sent on to the field against Rossendale, a team I don't believe we've played before.

To that end our walking wounded deserve great credit for soaking up any attacks Rossendale's determined and physical forwards threw at us and for also still being firmly camped in our opponents 22 for long periods of the first half forcing them into making a number of desperate kicks to safety. It took until the dying moments of the first half for Manchester to score their first try of the game - a brilliant solo run, darting down the touchline by a Manchester player to score in the left hand corner. Half time Manchester 1-0 Rossendale.

The second half saw more and more pressure from Manchester as they sensed a second try and while Rossendale remained dogged in their tackling it was only a matter of time before it came. From a lost Rossendale lineout Manchester fed the ball across the pitch well before it was greedily scrambled over the try line to win the match.

Well played to Rossendale. I've read your report of this match with interest and agree that as a team you're heading in the right direction and will give teams a stern test next season. Best of luck.

Final Score: Manchester 2 Rossendale 0